Holiday Drink Recipe #2 The Outlaw

The Outlaw - also known as the "two-fer". An eggnog latte - with a kick

2 shots of espresso
2 shots eggnog
2 shots liquor of choice (or whatever you can find in the cabinet....holidays are like that.)

(Bonus - When you get to the mall on Black Friday, you can get an eggnog latte at any coffee bar, and then whip out your flask and doctor it up into the Outlaw [and thus the drink title's origin] before starting your holiday shopping. You didn't hear this from me.)

You're welcome.

Holiday Drink recipe #1 - The In-law

The In-law

equal parts chai tea and eggnog, with a floater of dark rum

Chai because you can bring a carton of it with you for every holiday event. Eggnog because it's the holidays, goddammit. Rum, because obviously.

Things mommy should have been doing, but didn't

THIS would be a much more interesting topic to explore, then what I actually did today.

Today mommy did not do any of the things on her to do list. Mommy worked, then watched a movie, then went to a wine tasting.

Chateau Ste. Michele has some lovely offerings. I particularly enjoyed their Syrah.

Tonight for dinner:
Shortribs, tomato and mozzarella salad, and golden potatos.

I marinated the shortribs in a blend of leftover coffee, teriyaki sauce, garlic, and a can of Coconut Porter for a few hours. The potatos were yukon golds, cut up and fried with lots of sea salt and ground pepper. The tomatos and mozzarella and basil were all fresh and fragrant and full of yumminess.

What is mommy doing on Thursday ?

Mommy is cleaning out the car today. Removing the bits of crayons, shreds of paper, unidentifiable sticky things, and bits and pieces of toys we probably already threw out.

For dinner? Tonight mommy is making chicken katsu and edamame. We're going ethnic, baby !

What HAS been mommy doing?

Mommy went to visit Grandmommy. Didn't we have fun ? That time difference sure made for some challenging nights of jetlag. And some very late starts in the morning. It was exciting to sleep until almost noon, wasn't it ?! We should do that more often.

OK, so now that mommy is back home, back on track, and back to work, mommy is going to change things up here at What's Mommy Doing.

Mommy is going to tell you what's on her to do list, and she is going to tell you what's for dinner.
Maybe that way, you'll stop asking, hmmmm?

So, today mommy washed all of our dirty clothes, and sticky halloween costumes.
Tonight mommy is making meatloaf for dinner. Mmmmmmm.

Mommy's Mexican Meatloaf

ground turkey
ground beef
sausage meat (chorizo)
corn
egg
breadcrumbs
special spices, sauces and other secret ingredients

Mix well, shape into a "loaf" and bake in the over at 375.

you say it best when you say nothing at all.

This morning mommy is going to go sit with a girlfriend, a girlfriend who needs to talk.

I am going to sit, and listen, and HEAR what she has to say.

Because it is always important to really hear your friends, when they have something they need to talk about.

Part of being a good friend is knowing when to shut up and let the other person say their piece. It is a lot easier to do that when their piece involves a third party, but no matter what they need to get off their chest, everyone needs a friend's willing ear from time to time.

Sometimes, he best way to show you care about someone is to just be there for them, without saying anything at all.

Puppy love

Today, mommy is taking the dogs to the vet for checkups.

No, it's not going to be fun. No fun at all. No, you can't come. Trying to take two dogs with minimal leash training ANYWHERE is hilarious to everyone watching, and life-threatening for me. Leashes will be wrapped around my ankles, puppies will be leaping and licking and gnawing on each other's heads, and mommy will be quietly berating herself for adopting two dogs who are just as sweet as can be, but complete and total spastic idiots in every sense.

Obsession - and not in the hot Calvin Klein kind of way. In the way that requires medication.

Today mommy is going to spend the entire day obsessing over car reviews, trying to make the right decision for our family.

Mommy knows that the most important thing is that the car be affordable and safe blue. Don't worry, mommy won't forget and bring home a *gasp* red car. But today mommy will be very busy online, probably harassing the nice people at the Costco Auto program, and repeatedly calling the car dealership.

Aren't you glad you go to school on Thursdays now ?

Old Mother Hubbard

Today, mommy is going to clean out the cupboards. Because yesterday she found a can of condensed milk that pre-dates the move to this house. Four years ago. God knows how many times she has packed and moved that can. She probably shipped it from Massachusetts in the 90's.

She threw that can way with DISGUST. But any other outdated food stuffs will have their containers recycled. Promise. You can count on mommy to reduce reuse and recycle just like Jack Johnson tells you to.

It's all in the details

Today mommy is going to sit down with her calendar and blackberry and notepad and get organized.

This year, mommy has vowed that you will not arrive for school photo day in a ratty black t-shirt with a skull on the front that your uncle sent and that you refused to take off for 3 weeks straight.

Mommy is also taking note of field trips, and days when you will not eat what the cafeteria's got cookin'.

In addition, mommy will set up reminders for birthdays, special occasions, and fun community events - because when you cried over missing the waterslide on Sunday, she did feel bad....for a minute. But only for a minute because technically, daddy was home with you and mommy was at work, so it wasn't something mommy was really thinking about. BUT if it had been set up with a reminder in her phone, she could have called your daddy and given HIM a guilt trip en route to work, just like you laid on mommy today. Good work baby, mommy taught you everything you know. You done mommy proud.

Today mommy is going to take a walk

Mommy remembers the days before babies, when taking a walk was just.....walking. No stroller, sling, diaper bag, burp cloth, sippy cup, change of clothes, bottle of water or pharmaceuticals required.

Happy Days are here again.

Except for the pharmaceuticals - I think those will be a permanent part of my repertoire. Happy days indeed.

It's all about the Benjamins

Today mommy is going to work.

Mommy only works a few days a week - on the days when daddy ISN'T at work. Which is why today, daddy is going on your class field trip HAHAHAHA and mommy is going to spend the morning serving up breakfast and sunshine, sipping coffee and chatting with other grownups. And getting paid for the privelege.

So you have fun on that bus ride with daddy, along those wind-y country roads. Boy, I sure hope no one throws up this time.

Mommy is going out with the girls. To clarify, girls over the age of 21.

Tonight mommy is going out with the girls.

Mommy knows that indeed, you ARE a girl.

You are not invited.

We are going to have lots of fun grownup talk about men and sex grocery shopping and exercise.

Mommy will not be up early tomorrow. Cereal is on the counter.

It takes two to make a thing go right

Today mommy is going to do something that you will think is AWESOME but that in reality, could very well be an enormous mistake.

Mommy is going to go find a friend for Boston at the pound.

Because Boston is lonely with everyone at school all day, and mommy can't sit in the front yard comforting him for 6 hours. The whimpering is making her crazy. Since you are happier when you have someone to play with, mommy is hoping Boston feels the same.

When mommy went to the pound a few days ago with Boston looking for a buddy, Boston got his head humped frantically by a potential playmate, and mommy went home to think about it some more. Mommy thinks Boston needs a friend that won't hump his head all the time, so we're going to get a puppy.

Mommy is clearly losing her mind.

Mommy may I hab a tissue

Today mommy is going to cuddle you up and make chicken soup and read you stories and help you wipe your nose and let you soak in nice warm baths all day long.

Why ?

Because you don't feel good, and when you don't feel good, you want your mommy.

I know, because I'm a grownup and when I didn't feel good this weekend, I sure wanted my mommy.

Listen Up

Today mommy is going to try to listen to our president's speech - the one that he made last night.

Mommy tried to listen to the speech when President Obama was actually *giving* the speech, but it was very hard to hear it over the epic Star Wars battle that was being waged at that time.

During the recap on NPR, mommy was solving a bitter dispute over the crayons.

Mommy would just like to know what's going on, that's all.

Extra butter

Today, mommy is going to the movies all alone.

The movie may or may not be rated R. It's okay, she's old enough.

She is going to get a small popcorn even though the large is just a dollar more, because if she eats more then the small size she'll throw up.

Extra "butter" please. And salt.

And a box of candy that she will not have to share. Even if it's your favorite kind.

And a soda. Which may or may not rot her teeth.

You scream I scream

Today mommy is going to the ice cream store.
She is going to have an ice cream cone.

A waffle cone.
With chocolate dip and sprinkles.
Maybe even a sundae cone.

Mommies don't have to sit down and get ice cream in a cup because they can eat cones neatly and not drip them everywhere while they walk around.

Mommy loves ice cream.

Scrub a dub dub

Mommy is cleaning the bathroom.

Because no one else is going to do it. And even on a national holiday, the bathroom still needs cleaning.

Sweetie, please don't touch that. It's a chemical. You know, Mommy would appreciate it if you paid a little closer attention to your aim. And to flushing. Flushing is important.

Also, if you could just put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, and not smear it all over the sink ? Mommy would love that.

Slip sliding away

Today mommy is going roller skating.

Oh yes she is. Of course mommy knows how to skate.

Mommy used to go roller skating all the time, but she can't shoot the duck anymore because her hip sometimes pops out.

A little cheese with my whine

Today, mommy is having lunch.

Grilled cheese with the expensive cheddar cheese from the fancy cheese store.
On wheat bread
With crusts
And tomato inside

And, a glass of cabernet (or two)

Enjoy that PBJ, kids !

I gotta come up with something - UPDATED

Okay, WHEW. Being at home unsupervised is *dangerously dangerous*.

I have just spent an hour cruising the web, and my goodness that is a bad idea.

There's not just the beloved Craigslist.
There is also petfinder.com
And eBay

And then outside in the great big wide world there are all of the things I could go and do, and spend money on.

Holy Moley.

So I need to FOCUS. Focus on the whole point of HAVING this blog.
That point being: What am I going to do with the rest of my life.



I got nothing.


Last week I was all-consumed with the yard sale.
Then earlier this week I was all "yard sale leftovers must begone"
And now ? (sigh)

Now it is time for me to maybe indulge in all of the things I have wanted to do for years, and haven't been able to do. For instance, yesterday I went to the beach with a girlfriend and lay in the sun with my eyes closed because No One Was Going To Drown, then we went and did a little browsing at Ross and the Habitat for Humanity Restore.

It was pretty fulfilling, I have to say. But I can't spend the rest of my days trying to fill the empty hours between 8 and 2.

I need a project. And I need that project to not involve cleaning the bathrooms.
Today is brainstorm day. Any and all ideas are welcome, but please, stop with your suggestions of amateur porn. I am nothing if not professional.

****UPDATED TO ADD*****

Oh Boy. I came up with something. It is a win-win.
It will force me to keep myself busy.
And maybe, just maybe, it will inspire you to do the same. It will at least give you something to read every day.

*mwah* You're welcome.

Craigslist killed the radio star

I am almost done listing things on Craigslist. Oh, how I love that website, and yet like everything that grows exponentially in a short amount of time, it is suffering from over-exposure, over use, and lack of oversite. It is the wild west of the internet with it's basic HTML and lack of graphics. If you list something for sale these days, you will get multiple junk emails asking if you need funds, and offering to wire you money. (OH ! How I wish it were so, but I think there may be strings attached.) So I am getting a little annoyed, and I am looking forward to wrapping up our fall purge. It's exhausting, fielding all of these emails and phone calls. So, in the interest of maintaining my sense of humor, and my sanity, I am using the opportunity to practice fake accents and sexy, lilting, come-hither tones. Not that I need a lot of practice. I'll bet you didn't know this bit of trivia:

In the winter of 1998 Nic Carter of WBCN in Boston (and his listeners) named me the "Sexiest Voice in Boston". I still have the slip of paper where I jotted down the phrase that was my entry into the world of radio history.

"Lift up the skirt, so I can get to it."

It was Christmas time, and I was supposedly referring to the Christmas Tree skirt. I have a feeling that there was perhaps another meaning to that sentence. Perhaps something....sexier. As the callers went on the air to cast their votes, there was a voice I recognized from somewhere. "I vote for the one with the skirt. I gotta yule log over here with her name on it."

I stuck my head down the stairwell. "Honey, hang up the phone."

Yes indeedy, 11 years ago I had the sexiest voice in Boston.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Yesterday was not exactly what I anticipated. It started out just fine - I got everyone to school, I cleaned up, I sold a crib mattress and sheet, I listed some clothes on eBay, and I got the car inspected and stickered, and renewed the registration.

Fun Times.

I also took my friend Willow to get her driver's license.
That did not go as planned, vis a vis the GETTING of the license. Which was not gotten. As she put it, "I failed before I even pulled out of the parking lot".

So instead of celebratory bloody marys, we had consolation bloody marys. And a reuben with fresh corned beef that sounded delightful on the menu but was a bit of a disappointment. Another bloody mary was ordered, to ease the pain of disappointment.

And you know how the rest of this story goes.....I had a bloody mary, and then I needed a nap. And dinner was leftovers. No photos, please.

The fact that I used to be able to drink a bloody mary and not end up falling aleep 30 minutes later is a testament to the younger generation. I am officially middle-aged, which means I can sip (SIP!) a glass of wine and get a nice, warm glow, but if I drink an actual cocktail I am all slurred, with lipstick smeared across my face and bedhead.

An embarrassment. I was raised to drink better then that.

So, with no plans for any sort of alcoholic refreshment in the foreseeable future because I am so worthless afterwards, I am getting together my "To Do" list.

First, listing items on Craigslist.
I need to sell the screened gazebo, and I have a box full of party supplies that I will be selling (I HOPE!) either in one fell swoop, or individually based on theme. So I need to photograph these various and sundry items, and list them, and then get on with my LIFE - which needs a vacation from Craigslist.

Tomorrow is CLEANING DAY. I have decided that the best way to attack the houssekeeping is to just do it one day a week. One single day. So tomorrow, I will gather my cleaning supplies, and just get to work. Together we will solve the mystery of why and how people who have been using toilets all of their lives still cannot manage to use them without polluting the surrounding area. Because I am sure that topic will be on my mind.

Monday and the cars

Today is a day I have been preparing for.

I have had a long standing offer to take a friend to get her driver's license.
She HAD it, but lost it, and it's a long story that I still don't totally understand but ANYWAY in order to get a replacement, she has to take a driving test.

SO she is going to use my car fo rthe test, and as the owner, I have to be there and SO I am voluntarily going to the DMV with a friend, on the last day of the month. Because no one will be there renewing licenses and registration on the last day of the month that said documents are due to expire. No one. (hahahahahaha)

I am The Best Friend Ever.

So after we take care of that little chore (and I am sure she will pass the test handily) we have to deal with MY car issues. Like getting my safety inspection and renewing my registration.

Because like I said, no one EVER waits till the last day of the month to take care of those things. That would be silly.

The "I'm Not Bringing it Back Inside so Make an Offfer" sale wrap up

Alright, so I said, over and over again, that I would not bring anything back in the house after the sale.

I lied.

Okay ? Are you happy ? I lied. I brought stuff back inside because no one was even vaguely interested, and I am going to try to sell these items on Craigslist this week before I give up. I only brought in stuff that I know is worth something more then $.25 which is remarkably the price many people seem to think you should sell things at during a yard sale.

"How much is this brand new video camera"
"Well, we never used it. Make me an offer."
"I'll give you $.25"
Which is when I picked up the camera and took it inside.

I brought it out later, and someone DID buy it. And not for $.25 I actually held out for $.75. I am such a ball-buster.

No, seriously, we sold a ton of stuff. We still have some big ticket items left, which I listed on Craigslist immediately after the sale, and now it is all back on the porch, ready to be tucked away for just a few more days.

And I have a party tonight, and work tomorrow, and then Monday - MONDAY - I have all sorts of fun things planned with my friend Willow. I'll also have pictures.

See you then !

Today mommy is going out in the great big scary world

Two days a week I wait tables at a cafe in Paia. So, no big plans for the house on Friday.

Thursday was an OK day - I got a lot accomplished, but not as much as I had hoped vis a vis The SALE.

HOWEVER - I feel pretty good about the preparations I have made, and I have managed to make a dent in the attic crap, which I had really been dreading. The kids rooms and the kitchen are done, and all that is left to do is sort out my clothes, go through a few random baskets and boxes we had in our room and the attic, and I think we are going to pull a few more items out of the attic. It will depend on how much I have time for.

We are going to hang a closet bar across the porch eaves for clothing, and Sam is setting up a screened tent thing-y in the yard tomorrow to prep for the big day.

In closing, tonight I am going to work my buns off before bed, and tomorrow afternoon I am going to do the same, and then Saturday morning I am getting up at the crack of dawn and dragging everything out to the front yard and hoping for the best.

In the meantime - is anyone on Maui in the market for a space heater? Or three ?

Good Morning my lovelies !

It is a gorgeous morning here in Hawaii, and I am just settling down at the computer after a busy start - it's just 8am and I have already dressed and showered (listen, that's big news around here) and gotten the kids dressed and fed, and made a lunch for Lucy and walked them both to school.

Well.....technically I walked Max halfway to school. I got him across the busy road and down the street to the crossing guard and took a big deep Grown Up breath, and let him walk the rest of the way by himself - about 4 blocks. I would just like it noted that I only shouted "Bye Honey I looooove Yooouuuuuu" twice. Okay, maybe three times. And I didn't stand there on the corner and stare at him walk away. I lifted my chin, sucked in the tears, and turned around and headed back the way I had come. *sob*

I did walk Lucy right into her classroom - pausing only to watch this poor, heartbroken little boy sobbing and shouting goodbye at his mom. Oh, he was fierce in his love for mommy, and so MAD that she was leaving. Thank god Lucy is totally down with me dropping her off and leaving - I don't htink i could bear to leave her sobbing and shrieking in a classroom. No matter how big my big girl panties might be.

And so now I am home again......alone. And I am pleased to report that yesterday I accomplished my task of cleaning both kids' rooms. Not only did I sort out, throw out, and bag for the yard sale - but I also CLEANED. Like, moved beds and other furniture around to vacuum under them kind of cleaned. Serious cleaned.

A few before and afters for your reference:

Max's room before



and after



Lucy's room before



and after



But really, the best way to tell is to look in here - our bathroom/yard sale storage area
Before:



And this morning - not even close to done gathering items, but it's a start !



Today I have a list of things to do, and much less time in which to accomplish the items on it.

First, the mortgage. We have been stuck in the quagmire that is the Mortgage Affordability Act. So today, I have printed out a brand new application, and we are starting over. Again.

This. Sucks.

So after thoroughly dissecting our finances, which is ALWAYS a good time, I am going to attempt to tackle our bedroom - it's a mess (seriously - way worse then the kids' rooms if I am being honest with myself).

I can hear you cheering for me, but frankly, your level of enthusiasm disappoints me. Perhaps you could attempt to work up a little more SPIRIT and really get my heart racing. Jeez. Have an espresso or something.

Thanks in advance.

And away we go

OK, so to recap:

Yesterday wasn't the first day of the rest of my life because it was only a half day, which I wasted by having a bloody mary right at the very beginning, leaving me completely useless for the rest of the day - and ornery to boot.

But TODAY. Oh, today. Today Is It.

I am on track to have an epic day in terms of clearing out this house. 6 hours of unencumbered, uinterrupted quiet, all the better to purge and reflect and decide and purge again.

Here is my rule of thumb:
If I wouldn't pack it and pay to ship it back to the mainland, it's going in the yard on Saturday.

Harsh, I know. But I think that's the only way to have an effective yard sale. You have to be ruthless. Cold hearted. Completely without emotion. And money hungry. That doesn't hurt. In the past, I have pussy-footed around selling things. "I might need that", I would think. And then
I'd end up not getting rid of all of the stuff I really NEED to get rid of.

And yes, Trippy, we did just have a yard sale last year. And I was a big, fat pussy and didn't even go in the attic for that one. That was a fraud of a yard sale. I mean, I didn't even rent tables ! That sale totally didn't even count. This one is going to be EPIC.

So, here's to you, mommies at home. Let's throw everything in the front yard, and start fresh !

Day One. It was only a half day, so...

Listen. I can't count 8-11am as "the first day of the rest of my life" because that is just PATHETIC.

Plus, it was drizzling and gray.

So I got a few things accomplished, but it certainly wasn't a benchmark for the days to come. I hope. Otherwise, seriously, this blog is going to be profoundly boring.

I started with a bloody mary. Which led to a swift change in plans - from "clean out kitchen drawers" to "take a nap". And then it was 11am and my first day was over and gee whiz - this empty nest thing is going to be a BREEZE ! I can't *believe* I was worried about how I was going to fill my days !

Tomorrow I have more lofty goals. Beginning with "Don't drink a bloody mary at 8am because it really slows you down."

(sigh)

The first day of the rest of my life...........

Welcome to the beginning of a life. This is quite an event. After years (and years) of trying to have first one child, and then a second, both children are off to school 5 days a week and I find myself at loose ends.

So.

We're going to figure this out together.

Since someone else has already deconstructed Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I gotta find something else. Something better. Something at once cooler and WAY LESS STRESSFUL.

But in order to think, I have to clear the clutter. Literally and figuratively.
I have a few little projects bumping around in my head, and some huge tasks at hand.

We shall start with The Purge.

I am having a yard sale in 5 days.
FIVE. DAYS.

In the next three days, I am going to tackle this entire house while the kids are at school. This is not about cleaning - in fact, I have a feeling that the house will be a complete disaster by the time I am done......but once I get everything sorted, and the items I am getting rid of out of the house, I can start dealing with what is left.

Sort of like my life.