Tuesday, September 29, 2009

you say it best when you say nothing at all.

This morning mommy is going to go sit with a girlfriend, a girlfriend who needs to talk.

I am going to sit, and listen, and HEAR what she has to say.

Because it is always important to really hear your friends, when they have something they need to talk about.

Part of being a good friend is knowing when to shut up and let the other person say their piece. It is a lot easier to do that when their piece involves a third party, but no matter what they need to get off their chest, everyone needs a friend's willing ear from time to time.

Sometimes, he best way to show you care about someone is to just be there for them, without saying anything at all.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Puppy love

Today, mommy is taking the dogs to the vet for checkups.

No, it's not going to be fun. No fun at all. No, you can't come. Trying to take two dogs with minimal leash training ANYWHERE is hilarious to everyone watching, and life-threatening for me. Leashes will be wrapped around my ankles, puppies will be leaping and licking and gnawing on each other's heads, and mommy will be quietly berating herself for adopting two dogs who are just as sweet as can be, but complete and total spastic idiots in every sense.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Obsession - and not in the hot Calvin Klein kind of way. In the way that requires medication.

Today mommy is going to spend the entire day obsessing over car reviews, trying to make the right decision for our family.

Mommy knows that the most important thing is that the car be affordable and safe blue. Don't worry, mommy won't forget and bring home a *gasp* red car. But today mommy will be very busy online, probably harassing the nice people at the Costco Auto program, and repeatedly calling the car dealership.

Aren't you glad you go to school on Thursdays now ?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Old Mother Hubbard

Today, mommy is going to clean out the cupboards. Because yesterday she found a can of condensed milk that pre-dates the move to this house. Four years ago. God knows how many times she has packed and moved that can. She probably shipped it from Massachusetts in the 90's.

She threw that can way with DISGUST. But any other outdated food stuffs will have their containers recycled. Promise. You can count on mommy to reduce reuse and recycle just like Jack Johnson tells you to.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's all in the details

Today mommy is going to sit down with her calendar and blackberry and notepad and get organized.

This year, mommy has vowed that you will not arrive for school photo day in a ratty black t-shirt with a skull on the front that your uncle sent and that you refused to take off for 3 weeks straight.

Mommy is also taking note of field trips, and days when you will not eat what the cafeteria's got cookin'.

In addition, mommy will set up reminders for birthdays, special occasions, and fun community events - because when you cried over missing the waterslide on Sunday, she did feel bad....for a minute. But only for a minute because technically, daddy was home with you and mommy was at work, so it wasn't something mommy was really thinking about. BUT if it had been set up with a reminder in her phone, she could have called your daddy and given HIM a guilt trip en route to work, just like you laid on mommy today. Good work baby, mommy taught you everything you know. You done mommy proud.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Today mommy is going to take a walk

Mommy remembers the days before babies, when taking a walk was just.....walking. No stroller, sling, diaper bag, burp cloth, sippy cup, change of clothes, bottle of water or pharmaceuticals required.

Happy Days are here again.

Except for the pharmaceuticals - I think those will be a permanent part of my repertoire. Happy days indeed.

Friday, September 18, 2009

It's all about the Benjamins

Today mommy is going to work.

Mommy only works a few days a week - on the days when daddy ISN'T at work. Which is why today, daddy is going on your class field trip HAHAHAHA and mommy is going to spend the morning serving up breakfast and sunshine, sipping coffee and chatting with other grownups. And getting paid for the privelege.

So you have fun on that bus ride with daddy, along those wind-y country roads. Boy, I sure hope no one throws up this time.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Mommy is going out with the girls. To clarify, girls over the age of 21.

Tonight mommy is going out with the girls.

Mommy knows that indeed, you ARE a girl.

You are not invited.

We are going to have lots of fun grownup talk about men and sex grocery shopping and exercise.

Mommy will not be up early tomorrow. Cereal is on the counter.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

It takes two to make a thing go right

Today mommy is going to do something that you will think is AWESOME but that in reality, could very well be an enormous mistake.

Mommy is going to go find a friend for Boston at the pound.

Because Boston is lonely with everyone at school all day, and mommy can't sit in the front yard comforting him for 6 hours. The whimpering is making her crazy. Since you are happier when you have someone to play with, mommy is hoping Boston feels the same.

When mommy went to the pound a few days ago with Boston looking for a buddy, Boston got his head humped frantically by a potential playmate, and mommy went home to think about it some more. Mommy thinks Boston needs a friend that won't hump his head all the time, so we're going to get a puppy.

Mommy is clearly losing her mind.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Mommy may I hab a tissue

Today mommy is going to cuddle you up and make chicken soup and read you stories and help you wipe your nose and let you soak in nice warm baths all day long.

Why ?

Because you don't feel good, and when you don't feel good, you want your mommy.

I know, because I'm a grownup and when I didn't feel good this weekend, I sure wanted my mommy.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Listen Up

Today mommy is going to try to listen to our president's speech - the one that he made last night.

Mommy tried to listen to the speech when President Obama was actually *giving* the speech, but it was very hard to hear it over the epic Star Wars battle that was being waged at that time.

During the recap on NPR, mommy was solving a bitter dispute over the crayons.

Mommy would just like to know what's going on, that's all.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Extra butter

Today, mommy is going to the movies all alone.

The movie may or may not be rated R. It's okay, she's old enough.

She is going to get a small popcorn even though the large is just a dollar more, because if she eats more then the small size she'll throw up.

Extra "butter" please. And salt.

And a box of candy that she will not have to share. Even if it's your favorite kind.

And a soda. Which may or may not rot her teeth.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

You scream I scream

Today mommy is going to the ice cream store.
She is going to have an ice cream cone.

A waffle cone.
With chocolate dip and sprinkles.
Maybe even a sundae cone.

Mommies don't have to sit down and get ice cream in a cup because they can eat cones neatly and not drip them everywhere while they walk around.

Mommy loves ice cream.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Scrub a dub dub

Mommy is cleaning the bathroom.

Because no one else is going to do it. And even on a national holiday, the bathroom still needs cleaning.

Sweetie, please don't touch that. It's a chemical. You know, Mommy would appreciate it if you paid a little closer attention to your aim. And to flushing. Flushing is important.

Also, if you could just put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, and not smear it all over the sink ? Mommy would love that.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Slip sliding away

Today mommy is going roller skating.

Oh yes she is. Of course mommy knows how to skate.

Mommy used to go roller skating all the time, but she can't shoot the duck anymore because her hip sometimes pops out.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A little cheese with my whine

Today, mommy is having lunch.

Grilled cheese with the expensive cheddar cheese from the fancy cheese store.
On wheat bread
With crusts
And tomato inside

And, a glass of cabernet (or two)

Enjoy that PBJ, kids !

I gotta come up with something - UPDATED

Okay, WHEW. Being at home unsupervised is *dangerously dangerous*.

I have just spent an hour cruising the web, and my goodness that is a bad idea.

There's not just the beloved Craigslist.
There is also petfinder.com
And eBay

And then outside in the great big wide world there are all of the things I could go and do, and spend money on.

Holy Moley.

So I need to FOCUS. Focus on the whole point of HAVING this blog.
That point being: What am I going to do with the rest of my life.

I got nothing.

Last week I was all-consumed with the yard sale.
Then earlier this week I was all "yard sale leftovers must begone"
And now ? (sigh)

Now it is time for me to maybe indulge in all of the things I have wanted to do for years, and haven't been able to do. For instance, yesterday I went to the beach with a girlfriend and lay in the sun with my eyes closed because No One Was Going To Drown, then we went and did a little browsing at Ross and the Habitat for Humanity Restore.

It was pretty fulfilling, I have to say. But I can't spend the rest of my days trying to fill the empty hours between 8 and 2.

I need a project. And I need that project to not involve cleaning the bathrooms.
Today is brainstorm day. Any and all ideas are welcome, but please, stop with your suggestions of amateur porn. I am nothing if not professional.


Oh Boy. I came up with something. It is a win-win.
It will force me to keep myself busy.
And maybe, just maybe, it will inspire you to do the same. It will at least give you something to read every day.

*mwah* You're welcome.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Craigslist killed the radio star

I am almost done listing things on Craigslist. Oh, how I love that website, and yet like everything that grows exponentially in a short amount of time, it is suffering from over-exposure, over use, and lack of oversite. It is the wild west of the internet with it's basic HTML and lack of graphics. If you list something for sale these days, you will get multiple junk emails asking if you need funds, and offering to wire you money. (OH ! How I wish it were so, but I think there may be strings attached.) So I am getting a little annoyed, and I am looking forward to wrapping up our fall purge. It's exhausting, fielding all of these emails and phone calls. So, in the interest of maintaining my sense of humor, and my sanity, I am using the opportunity to practice fake accents and sexy, lilting, come-hither tones. Not that I need a lot of practice. I'll bet you didn't know this bit of trivia:

In the winter of 1998 Nic Carter of WBCN in Boston (and his listeners) named me the "Sexiest Voice in Boston". I still have the slip of paper where I jotted down the phrase that was my entry into the world of radio history.

"Lift up the skirt, so I can get to it."

It was Christmas time, and I was supposedly referring to the Christmas Tree skirt. I have a feeling that there was perhaps another meaning to that sentence. Perhaps something....sexier. As the callers went on the air to cast their votes, there was a voice I recognized from somewhere. "I vote for the one with the skirt. I gotta yule log over here with her name on it."

I stuck my head down the stairwell. "Honey, hang up the phone."

Yes indeedy, 11 years ago I had the sexiest voice in Boston.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Yesterday was not exactly what I anticipated. It started out just fine - I got everyone to school, I cleaned up, I sold a crib mattress and sheet, I listed some clothes on eBay, and I got the car inspected and stickered, and renewed the registration.

Fun Times.

I also took my friend Willow to get her driver's license.
That did not go as planned, vis a vis the GETTING of the license. Which was not gotten. As she put it, "I failed before I even pulled out of the parking lot".

So instead of celebratory bloody marys, we had consolation bloody marys. And a reuben with fresh corned beef that sounded delightful on the menu but was a bit of a disappointment. Another bloody mary was ordered, to ease the pain of disappointment.

And you know how the rest of this story goes.....I had a bloody mary, and then I needed a nap. And dinner was leftovers. No photos, please.

The fact that I used to be able to drink a bloody mary and not end up falling aleep 30 minutes later is a testament to the younger generation. I am officially middle-aged, which means I can sip (SIP!) a glass of wine and get a nice, warm glow, but if I drink an actual cocktail I am all slurred, with lipstick smeared across my face and bedhead.

An embarrassment. I was raised to drink better then that.

So, with no plans for any sort of alcoholic refreshment in the foreseeable future because I am so worthless afterwards, I am getting together my "To Do" list.

First, listing items on Craigslist.
I need to sell the screened gazebo, and I have a box full of party supplies that I will be selling (I HOPE!) either in one fell swoop, or individually based on theme. So I need to photograph these various and sundry items, and list them, and then get on with my LIFE - which needs a vacation from Craigslist.

Tomorrow is CLEANING DAY. I have decided that the best way to attack the houssekeeping is to just do it one day a week. One single day. So tomorrow, I will gather my cleaning supplies, and just get to work. Together we will solve the mystery of why and how people who have been using toilets all of their lives still cannot manage to use them without polluting the surrounding area. Because I am sure that topic will be on my mind.