I'm going to post these things here. You're welcome. I found them floating around facebook with no photo credits. If they're yours please give me a shout so I can give you the respect you deserve.
Lollipops - laced with chicken pox. I wish I was kidding.
But I think this guy would totally go for it:
And something for those of you who have chosen to keep your gene pool to yourself for maximum awesomeness: