You scream I scream

Today mommy is going to the ice cream store.
She is going to have an ice cream cone.

A waffle cone.
With chocolate dip and sprinkles.
Maybe even a sundae cone.

Mommies don't have to sit down and get ice cream in a cup because they can eat cones neatly and not drip them everywhere while they walk around.

Mommy loves ice cream.

Scrub a dub dub

Mommy is cleaning the bathroom.

Because no one else is going to do it. And even on a national holiday, the bathroom still needs cleaning.

Sweetie, please don't touch that. It's a chemical. You know, Mommy would appreciate it if you paid a little closer attention to your aim. And to flushing. Flushing is important.

Also, if you could just put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, and not smear it all over the sink ? Mommy would love that.

Slip sliding away

Today mommy is going roller skating.

Oh yes she is. Of course mommy knows how to skate.

Mommy used to go roller skating all the time, but she can't shoot the duck anymore because her hip sometimes pops out.

A little cheese with my whine

Today, mommy is having lunch.

Grilled cheese with the expensive cheddar cheese from the fancy cheese store.
On wheat bread
With crusts
And tomato inside

And, a glass of cabernet (or two)

Enjoy that PBJ, kids !

I gotta come up with something - UPDATED

Okay, WHEW. Being at home unsupervised is *dangerously dangerous*.

I have just spent an hour cruising the web, and my goodness that is a bad idea.

There's not just the beloved Craigslist.
There is also petfinder.com
And eBay

And then outside in the great big wide world there are all of the things I could go and do, and spend money on.

Holy Moley.

So I need to FOCUS. Focus on the whole point of HAVING this blog.
That point being: What am I going to do with the rest of my life.



I got nothing.


Last week I was all-consumed with the yard sale.
Then earlier this week I was all "yard sale leftovers must begone"
And now ? (sigh)

Now it is time for me to maybe indulge in all of the things I have wanted to do for years, and haven't been able to do. For instance, yesterday I went to the beach with a girlfriend and lay in the sun with my eyes closed because No One Was Going To Drown, then we went and did a little browsing at Ross and the Habitat for Humanity Restore.

It was pretty fulfilling, I have to say. But I can't spend the rest of my days trying to fill the empty hours between 8 and 2.

I need a project. And I need that project to not involve cleaning the bathrooms.
Today is brainstorm day. Any and all ideas are welcome, but please, stop with your suggestions of amateur porn. I am nothing if not professional.

****UPDATED TO ADD*****

Oh Boy. I came up with something. It is a win-win.
It will force me to keep myself busy.
And maybe, just maybe, it will inspire you to do the same. It will at least give you something to read every day.

*mwah* You're welcome.

Craigslist killed the radio star

I am almost done listing things on Craigslist. Oh, how I love that website, and yet like everything that grows exponentially in a short amount of time, it is suffering from over-exposure, over use, and lack of oversite. It is the wild west of the internet with it's basic HTML and lack of graphics. If you list something for sale these days, you will get multiple junk emails asking if you need funds, and offering to wire you money. (OH ! How I wish it were so, but I think there may be strings attached.) So I am getting a little annoyed, and I am looking forward to wrapping up our fall purge. It's exhausting, fielding all of these emails and phone calls. So, in the interest of maintaining my sense of humor, and my sanity, I am using the opportunity to practice fake accents and sexy, lilting, come-hither tones. Not that I need a lot of practice. I'll bet you didn't know this bit of trivia:

In the winter of 1998 Nic Carter of WBCN in Boston (and his listeners) named me the "Sexiest Voice in Boston". I still have the slip of paper where I jotted down the phrase that was my entry into the world of radio history.

"Lift up the skirt, so I can get to it."

It was Christmas time, and I was supposedly referring to the Christmas Tree skirt. I have a feeling that there was perhaps another meaning to that sentence. Perhaps something....sexier. As the callers went on the air to cast their votes, there was a voice I recognized from somewhere. "I vote for the one with the skirt. I gotta yule log over here with her name on it."

I stuck my head down the stairwell. "Honey, hang up the phone."

Yes indeedy, 11 years ago I had the sexiest voice in Boston.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Yesterday was not exactly what I anticipated. It started out just fine - I got everyone to school, I cleaned up, I sold a crib mattress and sheet, I listed some clothes on eBay, and I got the car inspected and stickered, and renewed the registration.

Fun Times.

I also took my friend Willow to get her driver's license.
That did not go as planned, vis a vis the GETTING of the license. Which was not gotten. As she put it, "I failed before I even pulled out of the parking lot".

So instead of celebratory bloody marys, we had consolation bloody marys. And a reuben with fresh corned beef that sounded delightful on the menu but was a bit of a disappointment. Another bloody mary was ordered, to ease the pain of disappointment.

And you know how the rest of this story goes.....I had a bloody mary, and then I needed a nap. And dinner was leftovers. No photos, please.

The fact that I used to be able to drink a bloody mary and not end up falling aleep 30 minutes later is a testament to the younger generation. I am officially middle-aged, which means I can sip (SIP!) a glass of wine and get a nice, warm glow, but if I drink an actual cocktail I am all slurred, with lipstick smeared across my face and bedhead.

An embarrassment. I was raised to drink better then that.

So, with no plans for any sort of alcoholic refreshment in the foreseeable future because I am so worthless afterwards, I am getting together my "To Do" list.

First, listing items on Craigslist.
I need to sell the screened gazebo, and I have a box full of party supplies that I will be selling (I HOPE!) either in one fell swoop, or individually based on theme. So I need to photograph these various and sundry items, and list them, and then get on with my LIFE - which needs a vacation from Craigslist.

Tomorrow is CLEANING DAY. I have decided that the best way to attack the houssekeeping is to just do it one day a week. One single day. So tomorrow, I will gather my cleaning supplies, and just get to work. Together we will solve the mystery of why and how people who have been using toilets all of their lives still cannot manage to use them without polluting the surrounding area. Because I am sure that topic will be on my mind.